Raw Gypsy is NOT VEGAN. Here is why

Those of you following this blog may be wondering where I've disappeared to. It's been an intense few months of contemplation and self-discovery. As a result of this, I have had to take a break from the 100% raw diet I was on for three years. It is important for me to be honest about this part of my journey and share the details with readers who may be experiencing similar things. Above all, I want to encourage each of you to listen closely to your guides--tune out other voices if you must, and trust that your body has an innate wisdom of its own.

By April of last year, the wonderful, clear, high energy I had felt for the previous three years had declined and I was starting to feel crappy. I was eating about 70-75% fruit most of the time, with occasional raw fish or raw cheese. I live in Seattle where the winters are not harsh, but it does get quite chilly here and the cold always bothered me when I was living on tropical fruit and nuts. Still, I kept on with my diet because it had brought me to such great health and peace. But I couldn't help but notice that I wasn't feeling as good. Last summer (2010) I stayed raw even though I was wondering if I was doing something wrong. By September I realized I'd been having extreme head rushes when standing, had just gotten used to them, but they were getting worse and much scarier. I was getting numbness and tingling in my fingertips, heart palpitations, and moments when I felt like my nervous system was "forgetting" how to keep me alive--like things were shorting out. At one point in the fall, I had a head rush in the morning that progressed to complete nervous collapse and I fell in the bathroom. Luckily I was not seriously injured, but it was scary for my kids and it was a wake-up call for me to make some immediate changes in my diet.

After extensive researching, since I had no money to get bloodwork done, I concluded that I was suffering from a B12 deficiency, among other things, possibly B6 as well. I had bought into the myth that the trace amounts of B12 on the surface of fruit was enough to supply me with what my body needed to function. I never took any supplements while raw and mostly vegan, because I believed that I was getting everything i needed from fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds and seaweed. I was obviously wrong. I had thrown myself way out of balance, perhaps by eating so much non-indigenous fruit in a northern climate, perhaps because my B12 just ran low after I stopped getting the trace amounts that are fortified in breads and cereals, it was probably a combination of things. But my heart and soul told me that I needed to eat some red meat immediately, or I was going to die.

This was extremely hard for me. I was vegetarian for 16 years, 8 of those vegan, then only ate fish and eggs occasionally until I went raw in 2007. Then I was almost entirely vegan for three years. The idea of eating meat was heartbreaking to me. But at the same time as I was going through this, I ran into one of those primal diet people in the natural foods store. He had a lot to tell me about raw milk and raw meat, some of which I accepted, and some which I rejected at first. I went home and started reading more about this, and what I discovered is that MANY raw vegans experience the same extreme symptoms I did after more than a few years on the diet. My research turned up the truth that quite a few of our leaders in the raw food movement are no longer vegans--they simply could not keep their bodies functioning optimally without some animal protein. This has caused a huge debate in the raw food community, which has escalated to a virtual war between vegans and non-vegans. It was a very difficult decision for me to make, but knowing that my children were so worried about me, and knowing that I need to be safe and healthy in order to care for them, I had to at least try it and see if it would help me. The afternoon of the day I collapsed, I went to the butcher and bought a piece of grass-fed tenderloin, learned how to make Steak Tartare, and ate about 3 ounces of it wrapped in a piece of lettuce. I fully expected myself to hurl while eating this, but it really wasn't all that bad--not much different than sashimi. I ate that and waited to see how i felt. The most immediate results were a flushed feeling of warmth that began with my face and spread over my body. Then I didn't notice anything else until the following evening when I realized that the extreme fatigue I used to feel at 10pm was completely gone. At the advice of my new primal friend, I ordered some raw milk and started adding that to my smoothies, to give me the phosphorous I believe I was lacking, and the fats that my brain needed. I decided that I would eat raw beef twice a month and drink the milk a few times per week and see if I felt better in a couple of months.

Well, within a month, the head rushes had completely stopped. I could go from lying down to jumping up with only a normal amount of orthostatic hypotension but not a blinding, catastrophic brain fart. The heart palpitations also stopped. I didn't feel cold anymore. I started eating liver as well, just to be sure. This was not easy, eating mostly raw liver. I seared the outside and choked it down. I told myself that I had to do this for my health, and that it was temporary. Meanwhile, I continued with my green smoothies most of the day, salads, and increased the amount of fermented veggies I was eating. I decided that I needed to back way off on the fruit until the weather warmed up. The more I thought about this, the more I realized how dumb it is to live on pineapples and mangos when you live in Washington state. I have shifted to a more local diet by eating apples and pears, kale, chard, and now I'm only about 60% raw because I thought it would be good for me to eat some root vegetables like parsnips and some winter squash which I don't believe are digestible raw. Overall I think i made the right decision for my health, but I consider this an experimental, transitional phase, because other problems have cropped up.

Going off of 100% raw has caused me to "cheat" and eat stuff like bread, pastries, corn chips, cooked beans/lentils and grains like rice and quinoa, I even had a grilled cheese sandwich once. I guess you could say I let myself party because I had been so deprived for three years. Of course, I put on 20 pounds in a hurry, which made yoga difficult and I eventually stopped doing it. At this point, I am somewhere in between--still feeling that I need the meat and milk occasionally, but doing yoga again and wanting to get back to 100% raw as it gets warmer because a) I feel extremely sluggish at this point, b) I am about 10 pounds over my ideal weight (I think I was 10 pounds under when I was raw vegan), and c) I am starting to look/feel my age (!)--seriously, that youthful glow is gone, my wrinkles are showing, and I just feel older. I do still believe a raw diet is the diet intended for humans, but I was doing something wrong. I wish to approach it differently this time, and by April I do intend to be 100% raw again.The animal products i will have to monitor closely to determine how much/how often i need them. One thing that has changed is my attitude toward eating animals--I have been connecting lately with indigenous elders and shamans and feeling compelled to stay close to the land and environment I'm living in. I feel best prioritizing local food over veganism. I'm not so into the idea of eating raw eggs, but I'm learning that they are a very healthy food for humans. It's something I'm still contemplating.

I found that during my first two years raw, I liked my peaceful new self better...but now what I like about my changes is that I am more adaptable, more tolerant, more forgiving of myself and others. I don't think it's useful to be harsh/extreme. I seek peace, balance, and clarity. I want my glow back. I want my energy back. I need a juicer immediately.  I'm certainly not "happy" about eating meat, but i am approaching it consciously, as ethically as possible, and being compassionate with myself. One thing that always struck me about the hardcore vegans I knew is that they had compassion for animals, but not for humans. If you're going to live like that, resenting and hating people for their personal choices, then go live in the jungle with the gorillas.

Needless to say, I am backing way off from giving anyone raw dietary advice until I feel 100% up to speed myself. Every body is totally unique and needs a different combination of nutrients to function optimally. I feel that it's most important to eat foods that were grown and raised in the same climate and environment you live in (provided that it's not a toxic place like next door to the Chernobyl field). But it's also crucial that we monitor our health and nutrition intake on a regular basis because things do change. What works for our bodies one year may not be enough the next. I met a woman on Facebook named Jamie Marie Koonce who has a nutritional consulting practice and is able to work with people remotely. If you are in need of some health/diet coaching and are open to a non-vegan, nutritional typing approach to reclaiming your health, please visit her website, SuperHero Healthcare.

As always, I welcome any and all comments here.
Raw Gypsy