a bad photo of a really good salad

My new favorite way to make salads is to mix together all the "stuff" with the dressing and then lay it on top of the greens instead of the traditional way of making a green salad and adding "stuff". This way, it's like that cereal they sell at Trader Joes, "Just the clusters". Or like that episode of Seinfeld in which Elaine suggests to a baker the idea of baking muffins but selling only the muffin tops, and tossing the stumps since nobody likes them as much as the tops anyway. (Segue into "Muffin Tops" script, full episode HERE. The scene where Elaine is confronted by the lady at the homeless shelter, where she has been leaving the muffin "stumps", is incredibly hilarious)



Woman: I can't believe somebody pulled the top off of this muffin.
Elaine: That was me. I'm sorry. I don't like the stumps.
Mr Lippman: So you just eat the tops.
Elaine: Oh yeah. It's the best part. It's crunchy, it's explosive, it's where the muffin breaks free of the pan and sort of (makes hand motions) does it's own thing. I'll tell you. That's a million dollar idea right there. Just sell the tops.


ANYWAY, here is what i put into this salad, and of course you are free to substitute anything you don't like, won't eat or don't have. 

the stuff

1 apple
1 stalk celery
1 Persian cucumber
2-3 radishes
3-bean munchie sprouts (or any sprouts you have--sprouted sunflower seeds would also be good)
raw cheddar cheese (omit if desired)
avocado slices on top (don't mix in or they will get mushed up)
and i forgot the raisins this time, but it's very good with raisins.

the dressing
(oops i forgot to measure what i put into the blender! amounts are approximate and just so you know, "T" is Tablespoon, "t" is teaspoon)

1/4 cup cider vinegar
2-3T apple or orange juice
1T raw tahini
1/4 cup olive oil
dash of umeboshi vinegar
salt to taste
dash of cayenne
squeeze of lemon
if you like it a bit sweeter you can add a touch of honey

mix this stuff all up in a bowl and spoon it out on top of the greens of your choice. I used spinach this time. This recipe makes enough for two people if you are having something else or aren't that hungry. If this is your main meal and you're hungry, eat the whole thing yourself. These ingredients go well together both taste-wise and digestion-wise.


Rebecca: Excuse me, I'm Rebecca Demore from the homeless shelter.
Elaine: Oh, hi.
Rebecca: Are you the ones leaving the muffin pieces behind our shelter?
Elaine: You been enjoying them?
Rebecca: They're just stumps.
Elaine: Well they're perfectly edible.
Rebecca: Oh, so you just assume that the homeless will eat them, they'll eat anything? 
Mr. Lippman: No no, we just thought...
Rebecca: I know what you thought. They don't have homes, they don't have jobs, what do they need the top of a muffin for? They're lucky to get the stumps.
Elaine: If the homeless don't like them the homeless don't have to eat them.
Rebecca: The homeless don't like them.
Elaine: Fine.
Rebecca: We've never gotten so many complaints. Every two minutes, "Where is the top of this muffin? Who ate the rest of this?" 
Elaine: We were just trying to help.
Rebecca: Why don't you just drop off some chicken skins and lobster shells.
Elaine: I think I might.