Friday, March 29, 2013

back in the saddle again.

It has been nearly a year since I've written in this blog. The reason for that is that I went on a journey back to eating all kinds of foods, mostly not raw, and considerably un-vegan. In the fall of 2010, I discovered that I had made myself horribly deficient by neglecting to include essential fats and nutrients in my diet (namely those found only in animal foods). I wrote about it in a previous entry if you want to go back and read it, I won't get into the details here because I want to write about where I've been since then. I decided to rebuild my health, take care of my teeth, and get grounded because I knew that I was about to enter a phase of my life which would require me to be super strong, centered, and fiercely committed to my goals. Three years on a raw diet made me more gentle, patient, docile, compassionate, tolerant and blissful. And I haven't lost any of those qualities since I've started eating meat and dairy again, I just feel that now it's time for me to master a new skill set.

This is all fantastic, except for the fact that I have put on all the weight I lost during my three raw vegan years. I am healthier and much stronger (packed with muscle from yoga and eating meat) than I was before I lost weight on a raw diet, but still, I have too much fat on my body to be burning fuel efficiently. Some might say I look just fine, and I suppose I don't look horribly overweight and I'm certainly not obese, but I have started snoring and having problems with my throat at night, certain yoga asanas can not be done correctly because of fat in the way, and none of my clothing fits. Even the yoga pants are tight, and I refuse to buy any more clothing--I have more than enough clothing that I like in size 10 which I have not been able to wear for two years. I am now a size 14 and got close to a 16 before I decided enough was enough. No more sugar. No more cheese. No more ribs, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, no more ice cream. It's time to transform myself into the physical form of the warrior goddess who dwells within.

I have tried several times this year to lose weight and nothing has worked, except for a week-long juice fast which dropped 8 pounds off of me, all of which came back with a vengeance (and more weight) once I started eating again. I am learning a lot about my metabolism and how it responds to different combinations and ratios of proteins to fats to carbohydrates. According to the nutrition coach I saw last year, I metabolize food very slowly and need to avoid certain foods in order to maximize "fuel efficiency". So when I go without any food at all and only have juice, my metabolism slows way down because my body thinks it's starving. Yes, I start burning fat, but once I start eating food again, my metabolic rate is so slow and my body so freaked out about starvation, it just packs all the fat back on. So that definitely doesn't work for me, and I don't recommend juice fasting for long-term weight loss to anyone. It is a great cleanse and a good introduction to a raw diet, but we need to give our bodies ample nutrients, protein and fat to achieve an ideal metabolic rate. In my case, there may be some thyroid and other hormonal issues at play, and I will be getting all that checked out really soon. In the meantime, I am including lots of seaweed in my diet now to get my iodine levels up. If I consume only green smoothies and raw vegan foods and seaweed and I don't lose a significant amount of weight in a month, I will know that something is definitely wrong with me hormonally. When I went 100% raw in 2007, I lost 20 lbs. in 5 weeks so I know what is possible.

This time, I am approaching it differently. No more raw vegan dogma. I got religious about it last time and it could have been the death of me because I didn't listen to my body when it was begging for animal fats. Raw milk, I believe, is a healthy, nutritious food to include in moderation. That may have prevented my severe deficiencies last time. And also, I will not make the mistake of expecting to live on this diet for the rest of my life like I did before. I will eat this way as long as it is serving my body, mind and spirit. And if I have a day when I feel like I need something else, I will allow it instead of judging myself as weak, as long as it is something good for my body. I will also be more conscious of where my food is coming from, and eat primarily local foods. Tropical fruits and nuts are not harmonious with my metabolic type or my Ayurvedic Dosha anyway. I love mangos and pineapple to death, but I won't let them imbalance me again. What is good for me? Berries, Kale, Broccoli, Almonds, Sunflower and Pumpkin seeds, Celery, fermented Cabbage, Coconut Kefir, sprouted lentils. Just typing these foods is waking up a part of me that has been asleep for 2 1/2 years. Today I had tons of energy in the second half of my day, on about a quart of green smoothie and one apple with almond butter. Normally I get really sleepy around 7pm but today I felt so energized, I had to drink some chamomile tea just now to make myself go to bed.

Which reminds me, I need to get to sleep now.
I will try to remember to post in this blog more frequently with my progress. As of today, 3/29/2013, I weigh 187 lbs. on my bathroom scale. The Wii says 176, with a BMI of 26.3. I don't know which one is right, but I am aiming for a BMI of 23 or less. With all the extra physical activity I am doing these days and lots more ahead this summer, it shouldn't be too hard. I am only afraid of letting myself down like I have all the other times I've tried dieting in the past year, and that is why I am posting in this blog. Even if no one else read this, it feels to me like I am being held accountable. It is important to my personal development that I practice following through on my goals more and more. My target weight is 155, but I would be happy with 160 since I am 5'8" and rather muscular for a female. So there it is, somewhere in the range of 25-30 lbs of fat I would like burned off of my body by August. Let's do this.

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